Choose the Right

I need to do this more often...

Photo courtesy of Karen. Isn't it an amazing picture?!?

I'm keeping a list...

Van Jones
Kevin Jennings
Anita Dunn

I would not feel at home at the White House.

Traitors. Apostates. Defectors. Deserters. All disgraces to the American cause.

Does anyone at the White House represent the America I love?

Theology of the Family

So I'm getting ready to teach seminary in a week and am a bit anxious as to how it will all work out. In preparation, I attended a training session a couple weeks ago. The featured instructor based his lesson on a talk recently given by Julie Beck, Relief Society General President. So this post has no original thoughts from my head. :) They come from Sister Beck.

A key objective for seminary teachers is to include the Family in our daily lessons. They want The Family: A Proclamation to the World somewhere visible and referenced as often as possible. Church leadership is asking seminary teachers to help students prepare for eternal responsibilities. I believe it is in part because of what Paul taught the Ephesians: For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Families are under attack from all directions. And the rising generation needs to clearly understand the importance of families (we all do).

There is a Theology of the Family in our Church...and it is based on the Creation, Fall, and Atonement. I had no idea. And yet this is the Plan of Salvation. I've been taught these basic pillars of the Gospel all my life...and until I heard Sister Beck share this insight, I had never connected the Creation, Fall, and Atonement to the family.

The creation of the Earth was intentional to form a family.

Through the leadership of Eve, the Fall provided opportunities for growth...both in numbers and in experience.

The Atonement allows the family to be sealed and provides eternal opportunities for growth.

The Plan of our Heavenly Father was created for the family. When we speak of qualifying for the blessings of eternal life, we are speaking of qualifying for the blessings of families. This was Christ's doctrine...and this is part of what was restored in these latter days.

Doctrine and Covenants 2 is a portion of Joseph Smith's interactions with the angel Moroni. And it is technically the earliest revelation recorded in the Doctrine and Covenants. It's message? Turning the hearts of the children to their fathers and the promises made of old. And that got me thinking about the Book of Mormon--what's the first message of the Book of Mormon? Even the very first verse...

I'm excited for what I am hopeful I will learn this year.

A Prophetic Voice on the Family

Society, without basic family life is without foundation and will disintegrate into nothingness.

Therefore, whenever anything so basic as the eternal family is imperiled, we have a solemn obligation to speak out...

Furthermore, many of the social restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us.

Whether from inadvertence, ignorance, or other causes, the efforts governments often make (ostensibly to help the family) sometimes only hurt the family more. There are those who would define the family in such a nontraditional way that they would define it out of existence. The more governments try in vain to take the place of the family, the less effective governments will be in performing the traditional and basic roles for which the governments are formed in the first place.

Delinquent adults still tend to produce delinquent children, and that awful reality will not change simply by our lowering standards as to what constitutes delinquency...

We are free to resist those moves which downplay the significance of the family and which play up the significance of selfish individualism. We know the family to be eternal. We know that when things go wrong in the family, things go wrong in every other institution in society.

Where there are challenges, you fail only if you fail to keep trying!

Families can be forever! Do not let the lures of the moment draw you away from them! Divinity, eternity, and family--they go together...

Spencer W. Kimball, October 1980

A Disgrace to the Sacred Office

What kind of a President is this Barack Obama?!? He's either so ridiculously prideful that he really does think he's some sort of deity...or he's such a skilled liar that he's able to fool the devil.

Either way, I hope President Obama is a one-term president. Not only is he non-presidential in his speeches, he is unprofessional. He has the maturity of a teenager (ok--that might be my emotions coming out).

Two things that I have to shout from the rooftop of my blog:

1) Obama is a polarizing racist. Hear me out before you argue this point. Did you listen to his press conference last night? The last question had no relevance to be asked of the President of the United States. It referenced the arrest of a Harvard professor in his own home. President Obama should have stated that he doesn't know all of the facts and the issue will be addressed by the Cambridge police department and left it at that.

INSTEAD...he acknowledged he wasn't aware of all the facts AND THEN proceeded to state that the cops acted "stupidly." This was personal for Obama. The professor is his friend (surprise, surprise) and he's black. So Obama went on a wild tangent to take what should have been a local issue and place it on the national stage as an example of racial profiling. I love the statement given by the arresting police officer. He stated, "I had no other motive than to ensure my safety, or he could've been the homeowner who was unaware that there were people in his house unauthorized. I just didn't know." He later went on to reference when he gave Boston Celtics star Reggie Lewis CPR by sharing, "I wasn't working on Reggie Lewis the basketball star. I wasn't working on a black man. I was working on another human being." I stand behind the actions of Sgt. James Crowley.

I know racism exists. But I believe the hatred of too many black men, like this professor and President Obama, keep the fire raging long after the majority of the population have left the bonfire. Obama had no business discussing the incident in Massachusetts.

2) Obama is an antagonist. Did you hear the blanket statement he made about pediatrician's last night? If he didn't intentionally do it, then his lack of professionalism alone disqualifies him to be President of the United States. President Obama directly implied that pediatrician's look at a fee schedule to determine if tonsils should come out of a child. In his own words: "Right now, doctors a lot of times are forced to make decisions based on the fee payment schedule that's out there. So if they're looking and you come in and you've got a bad sore throat or your child has a bad sore throat or has repeated sore throats, the doctor may look at the reimbursement system and say to himself, 'You know what? I make a lot more money if I take this kid's tonsils out.'"

Are you kidding me?!? He's trying to make parents distrust their pediatrician. And he completely discredited the honest hard work that doctors do day in and day out--IRREGARDLESS OF SOME FEE SCHEDULE!!! He's done the same thing to countless other groups and individuals. President Obama is an antagonist, is polarizing, is disrespectful and an ungrateful human being. He's un-American.

I could go on and on about what a joke the press conference was last night. But I'll leave it at those two points. And have you noticed how often Obama says, "I am the President of the United States?" I think he likes to hear himself say that. What a disgrace to the sacred office.

Mission Stories

I was inspired by a recent post by Laurel. So now it's my turn.

I was in the office for about 10 months of my mission as the financial secretary. Now before you think I was a slacker, those 10 months were probably the most productive of my mission as far as teaching is concerned. I worked in the office 5 days a week like any normal job (i.e.: 9-5) so the time we were out proselyting was very concentrated and effective. Our challenge from the mission president was to lead the mission in everything we did. And the Lord blessed us accordingly. It was awesome.

But on to a lighter side of the mission, here are a few random excerpts from my journal. Enjoy. :)

May 18, 1998
Pobresito Elder Axtell!! This morning I decided to throw a cold cup of water on him while he was taking a shower. Without knowing, Elder Romney had gotten him yesterday morning also. So I was blamed for both. Then Elder Romney got him again. So I got another cup and said, (before tossing over the shower), "Now you know it wasn't me, right?". He screamed and we laughed. He came into the bedroom and looked at me with bloodshot eyes. "Look--two days in a row. Water hits me and I open my eyes to see who did it...and shampoo flows in my eyes!" I laughed so hard. Elder Axtell's fun. And I've had the giggles the past couple days. I threw a blanket on Elder Romney yesterday and he's been sneezing ever since! Good times.

February 15, 1999
Today we had a fun activity. The entire district went up to La Sierra to see some waterfalls. Here's a Seinfeld moment: we were walking down a trail to get to another part of the river. Elder Soderquist (a greenie) all of a sudden stopped and was grabbing his arm. He apparently got stung and I looked down and saw a few black bugs flying around. Elder Poulsen and I were looking at the wound to see if the stinger was still there. Hermana Christensen and hermana Sanchez were walking towards us. Right when hermana Christensen was asking what was wrong, she grabbed her hand in pain. Without any warning, I immediately grabbed my arm in pain. At this point, Elder Poulsen took off running back to an open field. As he passed hermana Sanchez, she screams out in pain and grabs her arm. We all ran back and looked at each others stings. Those stings were killers! It swelled up pretty big, made a rash, and made the muscles in our arms sore. It was just funny how it happened. Some native up there said the sting makes you throw up and have a fever. Elder Soderquist had some ointment so we all put it on. Eventually the swelling went down and none of us got sick. The situation gave me a good laugh. We all got stung one right after the other and Poulsen took off running. To get home we hitched a ride in the back of a Pepsi truck--all eight of us. We had a good time.

October 17, 1998
So last night as E. Watson and I were walking home, we came up to three big dogs resting on the side of the road. It was very calm and peaceful. Then Elder Christensen gets an evil idea and without thinking of the outcome, gives E. Watson a good shove towards the sleeping beasts. Boy should you have been there! I was laughing the rest of the night. He tried to stop his momentum from charging the nearest dog. Immediately all three dogs showed how big their teeth were and surrounded Watson. He was hopping and jumping in every direction swinging his bag around trying to preserve his own life. He was screaming and I was rolling around on the ground. The dogs didn't even take notice of me! Poor Elder Watson. He got out of it safely and I apologized; but to this point can't stop laughing about it.

Lehi, Gaza, and Ophrah

No, I did not spell "Oprah" incorrectly. But I think I know her name's origin...perhaps.

Did you know that Lehi was referenced in the Old Testament? Not the prophet himself who fled out of Jerusalem and came to the Western Hemisphere to inherit the Promised Land...but the name itself is referenced in the Old Testament. As is Gaza and Ophrah. I'm sure you scriptorians already knew this...but it was fun to discover and I wanted to share.

I was reading the account of when the Lord, through his servant Gideon, saved Israel from the Midianites in the book of Judges. I've heard about that story from two sources recently (Laurel and some Christian radio show on my way to Richmond yesterday) and decided to read it for myself and remind me of God's grace and power. It's an amazing story if you haven't read it lately. And I came across the names Lehi, Gaza, and Ophrah during my read (Judges 6-7).

And did anyone watch Rush speak to the CPAC yesterday? Inspiring...amazing...the one thing that sticks out the most is how he describes what makes the United States different from all other nations. We've been in existence less than 300 years, yet we are the world power, the economic engine that drives the rest of the world, a city on a hill as Reagan frequently referred to it. What makes our country different? It's not us as her citizens...you and I are no different than anyone else on the planet. We have the same DNA. So if it's not us, what is it?

It's the freedom upon which this nation was founded (which naturally leads to capitalism...and more importantly to the Restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ...but Limbaugh did not reference that).

And that capitalistic view has led to innovation, ingenuity, risks, challenges, losses, victories and...a ton of wealth. Yes, there are uber wealthy people in our country. But the vast majority earned their wealth. Why should that not be rewarded? Why is it the focus of blame? If the U.S. were a business, we would cater to the rich and support them and do everything we can to keep them going. Obama's message is not new. It's not change. And it's not hope. He is setting the stage to destroy everything that made the United States what it is today. If you haven't seen Rush's speech and would like to, here it is.

The president isn't suppose to "change" anything. Those in power are not asked to change anything. Their sole purpose is to support and defend the Constitution of the United States. Nothing more...nothing less. It's as close to perfect as man can get with man-made government. We have moved so far away from our core principles that it's becoming difficult for many to see the forest for the trees.

But the Lord is in charge. And in Him I will place my trust. If we are prepared we shall not fear. God bless the USA. Maybe He's preparing those who are faithful to battle as Gideon was asked to battle--with as few men as possible so we give the glory to God and Him alone. Because if everyone defended the Constitution we might trust more in the arm of flesh rather than God.

Slavery under a black president

21st century socialism. Enough said.

But I will add this--I haven't figured the guy out yet. Obama will not support the revival of the 'Fairness Doctrine.' I applaud him for that. And as a side note to my title, he's not really black...I can't believe I gave into the norm just for a good title on my blog. Yes, his dad was from Kenya...but his mom is Caucasian and he was raised by his white grandmother. He's not black--he's a mulatto. I'm sorry to all of you who thought his election was historical for the shear fact that he was "black."

And finally, to follow up to the post below, Chavez bought the votes to turn Venezuela into a national socialist state. He plans to run for office until he turns 95.

Siguiendo el ejemplo de Chávez

Maybe it's just me, but I'm seeing some eerie similarities between President Chávez in Venezuela and our very own President Obama. (Those two words together still doesn't look right to me)

President Chávez is very vocal and unapologetic about creating a 21st century socialistic rule in Venezuela. He has nationalized a good majority of the country and continues to push for a dictatorship...although he has sugar-coated that word by allowing the people to "vote" for an unlimited amount of terms one can serve in government. But what happens when those votes are bought? I was speaking with a friend in Venezuela last night and there is a great sense of fear among the majority of Venezuelans. Yet Chávez isn't concerned about the majority...it seems he is buying the critical votes and insulating himself. Ten years ago Venezuelans were pleading for change. I remember living there when Hugo Chávez won the election. I still have my copy of the paper for that day. But now the majority have lost their voice...and the change they had voted for has turned against them.

I wonder what our country will look like in 10 years?

President Obama is following in the footsteps of Chávez in two very specific ways currently.

1) Obama has a very nationalistic and socialistic agenda, in my opinion. I respected and admired President Bush...but I never understood why he pushed for and gave in so easily to the first "stimulus" bill. I can only assume there were underlying factors we may never be aware of. And this current stimulus package...we've been calloused by the first round so $1 trillion doesn't sound too bad now. Shovel ready...have you heard that phrase a thousand times today? It sounds socialistic to me. Hitler and Mussolini come to mind with images of shovels. Work for the government and we'll give you a home. But what's the fine print? And how inefficient are shovels anyway?!?! For such a push for change, it sure feels like we're moving backwards. Before we realize what's happening, the majority of the businesses in our country may be nationalized.

2) Have you been following the 2010 census? Rahm Emanuel will supervise the census. RAHM EMANUEL. The devil incarnate...sorry, did I say that out loud? Apparently, Emanuel has taken a play out of the game book of Joseph Stalin. Stalin said, "Those who cast the votes decide nothing. Those who count the votes decide everything." It is very likely that Obama is setting the stage to manipulate the state of future congressional districts...thus ensuring his political party almost guaranteed power. Voting on a law that allows you to remain in power indefinitely provided you win the election may not be that far off...

Who knew the United States of America would follow in the footsteps of Venezuela? What Venezuela has done in 10 years...we might do in 3.

Remember Lot's Wife

That verse of scripture in Luke 17:32 has created a paradigm shift for me. Elder Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles recently gave an entire discourse on that one verse (and it was given on my birthday--just an added bonus). I encourage you to read it as well as read the context in which the scripture was given (Luke 17:20-37). My sister shared it with me earlier this week...and she could have never guessed the profound impact it is having in my life. This scripture speaks directly to the root cause of one (of my many) issue that has plagued me for years.

I had an incredible childhood. And an even better teenage experience. I loved everything about growing up. I had awesome friends...we laughed most of the time and occasionally discussed more serious matters. I loved school. I loved dating. I loved church activities. I loved the drama that only teenagers can deliver. It was an incredible time in my life. I've longed to go back...almost to the point of wanting to live in the past. And there's something eternally wrong with that mindset.

Not that there's anything wrong with reminiscing and thinking of yester-years (wow--now I really sound old). But my thoughts...and more importantly my heart has been stuck in the past. It has impacted my marriage and my whole outlook on life and eternity (and that's not the teenage drama coming out). And I haven't fully transitioned to adulthood as a result.

Thus the reason this scripture has become a paradigm shift for me. What was the sin Lot's wife committed? Do you remember the story?

Lot and his family lived in Sodom and Gomorrah. They were commanded to leave and not look back. Lot's wife turned back as they were traveling and she became a pillar of salt.

Elder Holland suggests that it wasn't just the fact that she disobeyed the Lord's commandment and turned around. More importantly, her heart turned back and she wasn't ready to leave their old life behind. Three days ago, had the end of my mortal life come and had I seen my Maker, my heart would have been very similar to Lot's wife. I know the promises and blessing of eternal life...but I may have said that a piece of my heart was still in the world. And I would have been subject to the same consequences as Lot's wife, figuratively speaking. Now...I'm still the same person I was earlier this week. But I'm making some changes.

My whole heart has not been living in the present. And that has impacted how I view the future. I'm married to an incredible woman. We have five amazing kids. My life now and my future with them should be everything to me.

Hopefully I'll leave my Sodom and Gomorrah and never look back.

Writing is therapeutic

For me, atleast. I don't know about you. But after I wrote my post the other night I felt better. Not whole, but better. And thank you to those who have emailed, called, texted, etc. You've provided me with strength, support, and good counsel. I also emailed an extremely long note to someone else...which was even more therapeutic than this blog. And that email prompted a good conversation. So things are progressing in a variety of ways.

There are details that will probably always remain between me and God through all of this. Being the open book that I am, that's hard for me to accept. But it's probably for the best.

I learned last night that I have no clue how to pray. I know my prayers have been answered in the past. I know I only got through some phases of my life because of Him. But I have forgotten how to pray since I left Venezuela 10 years ago. Perhaps part of me doesn't want to open up anymore.

I've felt so overwhelmed the past 10 years, where do I even start? Many times, I'll get on my knees, think about "stuff," and eventually just get back up without even saying a word. I told God last night that I felt like I was talking to myself. I asked if I could talk to an angel so I could carry on a conversation--knowing that He could send one of necessary...but also knowing that it wouldn't happen...but it could. Then I started to scare myself and I backed off my request.

Prayer takes energy. And I haven't had that for years. My emotions are high and I'm fighting them. One of my goals is to figure out how to pray again...and know that my prayers go beyond the ceiling. I'm assuming it will take months or even years. One of those life lessons on endurance.

Through my recent struggles, part of me was hoping the world would come to an end...my life would fall apart...but neither thing happened. And now the really tough part begins--I have to continue moving forward and follow through. Oh...that's right. This is where faith and hope come in to play. Things we're taught all our lives but don't really understand until the devil stares us in the eyes.

Satan was attacking me on all fronts and he knew I was wearing down. God knows. And I'm still weak. But I took some steps yesterday to improve my many situations. Now I have to stick to it.

I'm that much closer...

I want to be done. My priorities are all wrong. I know what's right but I don't do it. I'm exhausting myself and I struggle to know if it's really worth it. I negotiate and battle a constant internal struggle. I want to scream and cry and be done so I can have some relief and be happy. But would that really bring happiness? It's too much. The weight is too heavy. And my pride dictates that I carry it further.

Where can I turn for peace? Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice,
I draw myself apart, Searching my soul?

Where, when my aching grows, Where, when I languish,
Where, in my need to know, where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand? He, only One.

He answers privately, Reaches my reaching
In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend.
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching.
Constant he is and kind, Love without end.
--Text by Emma Lou Thayne

What do you do when all the answers lie before you, yet you refuse to accept them? I can't do it anymore.