Those who know me well know how prideful I can be. And if you think it's bad, you have no idea how bad it gets in my head. :) At least I have the self-awareness to admit it. And I know it's something I need to continually work on.
I'm a perfectionist, too. And that can get in the way of being led by the Spirit. It can get in the way of repenting. It can get in the way of understanding a lot about the Gospel. But the perfectionist in me also deep-dives into an idea and concept until I more fully understand it. That's what prompted this posting.
Following the Last Supper of the Savior with the Twelve, we read in John 13 that Jesus "riseth from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel, and girded himself. After that he poureth water into a bason, and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded."
"Then cometh he to Simon Peter: and Peter saith unto him, Lord, dost thou wash my feet? Jesus answered and said unto him, What I do thou knowest not now, but thou shalt know hereafter. Peter saith unto him, Thou shalt never wash my feet. Jesus answered him, If I wash thee not, thou hast no part with me. Simon Peter saith unto him, Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head. Jesus saith unto him, He that is washed needeth not save to wash his feet, but is clean every whit: and ye are clean..."
The Savior goes on to teach the importance of service. And during our Sunday school lesson today, the teacher asked me to comment on a section of scriptures we had read. The perfectionist in me did not like my poorly constructed response. That's one reason I'm grateful for blogs. I rarely think quickly on my feet. So this is what I wanted to say:
Serving others is a commandment. Serve as we have seen Christ serve. Love as we have seen the Savior love. Take care of the needy. Visit the sick. Pray for those who hate you. The list goes on and on. Serving others requires a certain level of humility. Ironically, the selfish part of me enjoys giving service. It feels good. I hope it washes away a few of my many sins. Regardless of what the desired outcome may be, giving service is a commandment.
Receiving service, although not a commandment, is equally critical for our eternal salvation. It can't be a commandment because that would deny our agency. God can't say, "Accept me as your God." He can't say, "Be grateful for everything I have done for you." He can't say, "You must let me do this for you." Receiving service may require even more humility than giving service. Because it's something for which we cannot do for ourselves. And we have to accept that. And not let our pride get in the way.
The King of Kings washed the feet of the Twelve - those who were closest to him in this mortal life...even though he knew one of them would soon betray him. It was an act of deepest humility. And it represented the Atonement which He would soon complete.
The Atonement is an act for which we cannot do ourselves. And it is complete and sufficient. Our greatest challenge is to accept that Atonement...to receive it. We cannot set the conditions; we cannot alter the gift. And in order to do that, we must humble ourselves. With more humility than I have ever imagined. And a level of humility I have yet to achieve.
Perhaps that is why giving service is so important...it's a stepping stone to receiving service.
2 comments:
Wow. I never thought of giving being a stepping stone to receiving. What an awesome thought. And, just for the record, I'm right there with you. It is so much easier to give than to receive. I don't even like receiving. Guess I have a long way to go. Guess my pride is in the way. Guess you must be related to me:-)Guess if I want the atonement to wash over me, I'd best be figuring out how to receive. Thank you for the lesson.
I have been following your blog for a few months and enjoy your writing and your thoughts. I found you through your mother, a most wonderful woman herself. This post in particular hit home. Thanks for sharing.
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