I felt a breeze today...

The city of Maracaibo is situated where the Gulf of Venezuela (off the Caribbean) meets Lake Maracaibo (one of the largest lakes in the world). Mix the water and the fact that it's just north of the Equator, and you have a natural recipe for heat and humidity in that particular part of Venezuela.

As a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we walked all over the city to serve and teach. With an average of 90 degrees without factoring in the humidity, you can imagine how uncomfortable it felt being outside so much. I remember one especially hot day. I can almost see the buildings we were walking past as I said a silent prayer. I needed some relief. I was at a point where I could have literally collapsed from heat and exhaustion. As I concluded a 10 second prayer pleading for a slight breeze to cool my face and body, it came. And I knew that God was watching over me and understood my circumstances.

It had such an impact that I immediately thought of that experience when our Sunday School teacher asked the class to share a time when we experienced the tender mercies of the Lord. I don't speak up much in class...but the thought came so quickly that the Spirit raised my hand.

We were discussing 1 Kings and specifically Elijah. We read through the story of the woman Elijah came to after he had sealed the heavens. This widow was preparing to cook the last meal for herself and her son before they died. For the full account, read 1 Kings 17. A miracle occurs there.

But then...this: And it came to pass after these things, that the son of the woman, the mistress of the house, fell sick; and his sickness was so sore, that there was no breath left in him. (1 Kings 17:17)

The widow was obedient, provided one last act of charity before facing an inevitable death in her mind, witnessed a miracle of having a now endless supply of food--only to have her son die soon after. The questions she asked in the next verse give us an idea of the struggles she must have gone through at that time. She seems to ask, "Why would God attend to my needs only to take away my son?"

The Lord knew this woman. He knew what she had done with her life and He knew her heart. As Elijah brought her son back to life, the Lord provided her yet another reminder that He knew her...and loved her.

Not long after, Elijah experienced something very similar. He had been obedient; he had been faithful; he had witnessed several miracles in his life. But even after an especially heavenly event, witnessed by countless others while Elijah dealt with the prophets of Baal, there was no change in the hearts of the people. And it weighed on him as we read, But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers. (1 Kings 19:4)

The Lord knew Elijah. He knew what he had done with his life and He knew his heart. A prophet of God, Elijah was devastated that there wasn't a greater conversion after all the miracles that had taken place. He would rather die than continue on. He didn't think he could do as his "fathers" had done.

I consider this to be the test of enduring to the end. And when we are working through that part of our commitment, to endure to the end, the Lord blesses us, I believe, with tender mercies. God sent an angel to minister to Elijah during this particularly difficult time in his life.

In our moments of weakness in faith, or when we doubt or question or wonder if there's really a point...I believe God provides us a gentle reminder. We know blessings are predicated on obedience to laws...but we don't know when those blessings will come. Sometimes they are immediate. But, probably more often than not, our kind and loving Father in Heaven reserves those blessings for when He knows we will need them most.

He doesn't look at the last 5 minutes of our lives. He doesn't look at the past week. The Lord, as our Sunday School teacher taught by the Spirit, looks at our whole life. As His children, God knows how to sustain us.

Life in general has been a little rough lately. In between the good times, I've questioned my abilities as a husband and father. I've questioned my purpose in life. I've questioned the purpose of active church attendance. I've found reasons to be frustrated at work. I've allowed others actions to negatively impact me. I've brought on self-inflicted pain and sorrow. I've been tired. (This isn't an exhaustive list. :)) And all of this has given me a better appreciation for what it means to endure to the end.

But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers.

There aren't words to describe what I felt during this Sunday School class today, but...

I felt another breeze today. And it was refreshing. God reminded me that He knows me and loves me. Hopefully that, coupled with my faith, is enough to sustain me through this particular season of my life.